Above All Angst, is Love

By: Alex 

Art by Alex 

It’s incredible to feel like a paradox—to feel so completely one way but also so much the opposite. When I say this feeling is incredible, I don’t mean that it’s a great feeling, because most of the time it’s not. But it’s an incredible feeling because it’s so unbelievable that we can feel so strongly on two sides of a spectrum. This paradoxical feeling is what I identify as the greatest basis of angst.  

Though it sounds unbelievable, feeling like a paradox is not uncommon, and when thinking about these feelings, I can’t help but express my love for the most wonderful and tragic example of a paradoxical character-- the misunderstood and brilliant Donnie Darko.

A lovely movie from my era, Donnie Darko, tells a story of growing up, self-evaluation, and (I know it’s crazy) time travel. But at the heart of this film is the struggle of an all too relatable character, Donnie. We realize that his biggest flaw are his paradoxical feelings, trying to understand how he can feel so connected to everyone around him, yet disconnected from what matters most. Because of these anxieties, Donnie is determined to prove that love, the feeling of belonging somewhere, is not just an uncertainty.

Although this movie is depressing, I see a silver lining to its darkness. Though Donnie’s inner turmoil is almost enough to make us feel physical pain, we realize that through his struggles, he’s learned a lesson. In the truest sense of angst, Donnie is surrounded with people who don’t understand him.

But in even the most misunderstood situations, we know that there are people who matter most that can help us through it. Donnie finds solace in a few people he meets, like his girlfriend or his English teacher. And through them, he doesn’t feel so alone. It’s a lot easier to get through a hard time when we realize we have someone around to help us through it.

But just because Donnie has these people in his life that he can trust doesn’t make everything better. He is still faced with everyday challenges that only he can solve. He realizes that it is possible to feel so much like a paradox and that there are some answers, though important, that don’t come to us right away.

Donnie gives us the reality of what some of us cannot accept. Though our problems may not always have an answer, we can find ways to deal with them. Donnie doesn’t have the closure that we all want. He doesn’t know that it’s all going to be okay, as these paradoxical feelings continue to plague his mind. But what I see as the most optimistic element of this story is the truth to it.

By the end, Donnie realizes that living without the ones he loves isn’t worth living at all. Though he doesn’t have it all figured out, he realizes that love can overcome any uncertainty and make us, even for a moment, truly happy. We can be a paradox and still feel love, and that’s the beautiful thing. As we grow up and question things, the only real way to live is through feeling these conflicting emotions. There’s no way we could have it all figured out. We don’t have to be completely happy or completely sad all the time to be connected with others in our lives. It’s okay to live and feel whatever way we do, and through living, we will learn to love.